“Where the Sidewalk Ends,” a poem by Shel Silverstein

I absolutely love this poem, and for no real concrete reason. Maybe it’s just the way it flows, or maybe it’s the images it puts into my head… I don’t know, but Shel Silverstein is literally my favorite poet of all time, and this is my favorite work of his. It’s just about the only one I’ve got memorized, that’s for sure.

“Random Shoes,” an episode of British TV show Torchwood

The episode this comes from is told from the perspective of a young man who “wakes up” to find himself dead, unable to be seen or heard by anyone, but trying his hardest to help Torchwood members figure out the mystery behind his murder. In the end, he ends up just appreciating how wonderful life was (because that’s what you do in this kind of situation, cliche or no). And I don’t know, when I heard it, I was tearing up for real. LIVE YOUR LIFE, AND LIVE IT NOW. Such an awesome quote.

This post is part of the 30 Day Blogathon! Leaving a comment will surely help me complete this challenge!

With that being said, here are my current favorites.

Everybody Loves Me – OneRepublic

Everybody Loves Me – OneRepublic

Don’t need my health, got my name and got my wealth
I stare at the sun just for kicks all by myself
I lose track of time so I might be past my prime
But I’m feeling oh so good… yeah!

Hey, I didn’t say it was a deep song… but seriously, give it a listen. It is the most addictingly catchy (yet not annoying!) song ever. I could eat OneRepublic’s entire new CD like it was candy, but this is the song I like to blast in my car every morning to put me in a fantastic mood!

Break – Three Days Grace

Break – Three Days Grace

Break away from everybody
Break away from everything
If you can’t stand the way this place is
Take yourself to higher places

Lately I’ve been really into this style of music (along with, like, 3 Doors Down, Seether, Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown, and the like) and this is the one song that I get caught in my head a lot. It’s got a great meaning to it; if you’re not happy with how your life is going… do something or go somewhere to make it better. Makes me want to get up and do something, you know?

And just as a bonus…

Pants On The Ground!

This is the collective addiction of oh so many people at work!

This post is part of the 30 Day Blogathon! Leaving a comment will surely help me complete this challenge!

Anyhow, it’s called Alternate, and the basic premise of the story is that a girl named Elsie Jordan wakes up one morning to find herself in an alternate dimension, where everyone 20 years old and younger has been born the opposite way. Her best friend Bethany is a boy, the guy that follows her around drooling is a girl, and so forth.

The thing I like the best about it is that Elsie has such a unique voice; much different than other characters I’ve worked with. The story is in first-person, a point of view I don’t usually work with, and she tends to ramble.

I have come to the conclusion that I live in a very backwards town. It’s not the fact that we have no mall, no theater, no Wal-Mart, or no McDonald’s. It’s not the fact that, though the town’s population is fairly large, they update it by hand every Friday afternoon, on every sign leading into town. It’s not even the fact that, instead of a normal school district, we have all twelve grades using an old college campus downtown that sprawls for blocks.

No, the backwardness of Everglade was given away by a smaller detail that not even the name (Everglade is in Pennsylvania, not Florida, believe it or not) could convey: the ice cream trucks.

Winter in Pennsylvania is no laughing matter – at least in Everglade. It generally involves a few feet of snow, some ice, more snow, a weekend of melting, and then a grand finale of three-foot-deep frozen slush.

But through wind and rain, snow and sleet, blizzards and stock market crashes, the ice cream trucks are there. Everglade has a legion of yellow and white ice cream trucks, very much on schedule and very much all year round.

The truck that comes through my neighborhood does so between six and six-thirty a.m., without fail. At a quarter after six, the truck passes in front of my house, thus waking me up in time for school.

Who needs alarm clocks? Nobody in Everglade.

And my truck, just like every other truck in the ice cream regime, has a very distinctive (read: obnoxious) tune. It starts off sounding quite a bit like the “little Indians” song from preschool. But right before it gets to the tenth little Indian, it hiccups and blurts, “Pop! goes the weasel.”

After seventeen years, though, you get used to Indians popping weasels in the head. It becomes an ignored fact of life.

At six-fifteen on Monday morning, the fifth of October, the tenth Indian and his weasel woke me up, just in time to get ready for school… just like every morning.

This is, by the way, the very beginning of the story. It comes in five parts, Monday through Friday. I can’t wait to get really moving on this. You know, in all my spare time.

Nos • tal • gia – noun – a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s home or homeland, or to one’s family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

I was really really bored last night while waiting around on Yahoo, and so I was passing the time looking for something in one of my old email accounts. Old email accounts, by the way, are the best time capsules ever. In the process, I started reading some old emails and taking a quick trip down memory lane. It was like reliving the past… something I tend to be overly good at.

After that I pulled up my old Xanga (now that’s a riot and a half…) and was looking through some old entries… and then, just before I got off for the sake of needing just a little bit of sleep before I had to go to work, I found myself over at the Internet Archive looking at the entries for Transitionalstate. That, by the way, was James’ idea. I forgot about the IA.

I miss T-state. I really, really do! I honestly haven’t found a forum with that level of close-knit community since then. I mean… people have met on this forum and gotten married (Sonny and Jessie, Grant and Adrienne), and I’ve met quite a few of the friends that I’ve had for… well, since T-state. I really, really miss it.

I’ve been thinking a bit about community. T-state had it. Why? What was it about that particular group of people in that time and in that place that seemed to click? Seriously, it really was the most drama-free forum ever. I can remember one member getting disciplined and… well, he shouldn’t have been on there in the first place.

Why can’t communities in real life work this way? Perhaps it’s because we don’t see each other face-to-face. Perhaps, in real life, it’s not just friends and more friends… it’s friends, family, and more ties and loyalties than I care to think about. This is, once again, delightfully vague. I’ve just been in a bit of a funk the last day or so, for many many more reasons than just this.

Some days I wish that we could bring back certain elements of the past… and some days I’m thankful that I’ll never have to live through those particular trials again.

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Stupidity is not a crime.
Your free to go.

Please, please, tell me that I’m not the only nerd whose first thought was… TYPO! Yes, I’m calling you stupid with the TYPO on MY shirt.

Classic.

Anyhow. I had a fun weekend! I know, I don’t get out much. James was up and we also went and chilled out in Lawton with Chelsy. I mean, we didn’t do anything particularly thrilling (except to note that the Prestige is a crazy good movie, and that “I will survive” is NOT a good song to listen to when you’re weird, tired, and apparently coffee-deprived), but it was nice to just hang out with friends. I miss that a lot.

I won’t go into details, but I’ve been thinking a lot in the past, oh, twenty-four hours or so about a lot of stuff in my life I’ve got to fix. Fears, issues, lack of trust, and all that jazz. Anyhow, about halfway through work today, I remembered a song on my Superchick CD (their first one is still their best, thank you) that I haven’t listen to in ages and ages. Lemme give you the lyrics.

Some people bring you gifts
Some bring you bricks to weight you down
So they can swim a little higher while you drown
Some people mean so well
Their way was the best way that they found
But any other way you choose is a brick that weights you down
So tell me what do I do with this backpack full of bricks
And sticks and stones and words that stuck to me like ticks

[CHORUS]
Let it go, let it be
Brick by brick we can be free of all the words we saved
Till we were our own enemies
Let it go, let it be
Brick by brick we can believe in the person God intended us to be
Let it be

Some people give themselves a brick
I know most people do
When we compare we fall short somewhere
It’s always true
If all we see is where we fall we’ve bricked a prison wall
Instead of trying to learn to fly
We’ve taught ourselves to crawl

We could believe in ourselves
More we could try for unique
Instead of trying to conform
We could defy what they tell us
Don’t buy the lies they sell us
If we’re brave we can believe in what we are

I think that’s pretty much self-explanatory. It better be, ’cause that’s all you’re getting! The point of that is… it’s true.

A few days before Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Memorial Day) in Israel, I was warned that when I heard the air raid sirens I wasn’t to be afraid. I was to stop whatever I was doing and be quiet and not move for two minutes. My friends told me that all of Israel stops on that day.

I laughed. Getting an Israeli to stand still and shut up is like hoping a penny on the tracks will stop a high speed train. I just couldn’t imagine it. It’s a noisy place filled with too many people shouting loudly all the time just to be heard. Too much energy. This was something I wanted to see, but I didn’t believe I’d see it.

The day arrived and I was out on the streets of downtown Tel Aviv running an errand. I’d forgotten and was startled when the sirens went off. I kept walking for a few seconds until I realized that no one was moving around me.

Nothing. People were standing on the street silent and unmoving. All the cars were stopped and their drivers and passengers were outside, standing next to their vehicles. I froze.

I listened.

Not a sound. Not a shout. Not a honk. Not an engine noise. Not a blaring radio. Silence. No babies crying. No mothers scolding. No shopkeepers shouting their wares. Silence. No airplanes. No motor scooters. No dogs barking. No sound anywhere.

Except the wailing siren. [CONTINUE READING]

She, and others, have proposed a day of absolute silence in the blogosphere (the world of blogs, you might call it) in honor of the victims at Virginia Tech. On April 30th, you’ll not hear a peep from me or many others on the blogosphere. Spread the word.

“Do caterpillars know they’re going to be butterflies, or does God surprise them?”

Aww, how cute. But seriously, it got me to thinking. Becky and I have this extended metaphor with the butterfly that we came up with… oh, years ago. So without boring you with all of the situational details, I’ll tell you how this struck me.

See, I don’t think caterpillars know they’re going to be butterflies at all (assuming, of course, that caterpillars are just as cognizant as we are). I think they’re just doodling along, munching on some leaves, having a grand old caterpillar life (why does this remind me of that book with the holes in the pages?). And maybe after a while they start feeling differently, start feeling the need to do new things. They start feeling uncomfortable and maybe even a little cranky. And then one day (more or less), God surprises them with wings that they had no clue they could get themselves.

I guess we’re a lot like that in life. To go with one facet of Becky’s metaphor, here I am, a little Meli Caterpillar, doodling through life, just trying to make the best of it. Now, on one hand, I do know that there is a possibility of me becoming a butterfly… but at the same time, I have no way of knowing. And so I start feeling differently, needing different things, wanting different results from my life. I’m not sure exactly how it’s going to work out or what I need to do to make it work, but I just keep trusting Him to lead me along each step of the way.

Caterpillars build cucoons, having no idea how to begin or how to make it work. It’s the same in my life. “Lord, you want me to do what?” I find myself thinking a lot. I just have to keep plodding on and trust that He knows what He’s doing.

Another thing… do caterpillars know when it’s going to happen? Nope. They might start getting a feeling that something big could happen in the near future, but having never experienced flight or wings, they don’t know what it’s going to look like when it gets here. That applies to areas of my life as well. A lot of you know that it is my dream to someday get married to someone wonderful (even though I should probably go ahead and buy stock in cat food and kitty-litter while I’ve got the chance). And honestly? It isn’t happening anytime in the immediate future.

But maybe it’s good that I don’t see it coming. It’s like the end of the day at work. If I keep on going, stocking and waiting on customers and such, not even looking at the clock, all of a sudden my boss tells me that I can get going, and it’s a nice surprise. If I know it’s coming, however, I find myself lagging and looking at the clock and time just drags on and on. I guess that’s a lot like finding the right person; if I keep on going about my life, doing all of the things I need to do and not worrying about how old I’m getting (my mom was married when she was my age, by the way), someone wonderful could creep up out of nowhere and take my by surprise, instead of me wasting my time waiting for that moment.

Sorry for the overly-personal entry, you poor blogathon allies. By the way, yes, I know I missed about a week. But you know what? I’m blogging again, and I guess that’s really what matters, right?

Back up, back up. No, I didn’t. I promise you. See, I was a good little Christian girl. My obsession was for Plus One.

Recently, like within the past week or so, I was surfing through iTunes when I came across Plus One’s most recent album. Now, don’t get me wrong, it was released in 2003 and it was only three of the five members, but it was the one CD I hadn’t ever really listened to.

Cringing at the memory of me at thirteen, screaming and yelling and obsessing all over these poor guys, I bought the CD.

Anyhow, the point of all of this is that one of the songs that I’ve been listening to constantly really touched me. It just seemed really weird to listen to Plus One and actually get something out of it besides how nice Nate’s voice is or how cute Jason is in person.

Be Love

So you steal it
Escape away with nothing
You try to feel it
But what you have is plastic
Your burned your pocket
And everything that’s in it
On your search for something
That is real

And if you need love
Take the time and be love
Breathe it out create love
See how things can turn
If you need love
Give yourself and be love
Breathe it out create love
See how things can turn

Inside your ruining the mood
You’re singing solitude
Forgetting all you knew
So look, look into the mirror
Swallow all your fear
Believe it’s really near

I dunno, maybe it’s just me being weird. I guess you have to hear the song to get it. I liked it, anyhow.

PS: Happy St. Fitzhugh’s Day!

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you; do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

- Song of Songs 8:4

And as much as that’s my “catchphrase” and I keep it in my head as much as possible, I don’t always listen to myself. If you know what I mean… well, you know what I mean. I have this nasty habit of giving my heart away to people that either a) don’t deserve it, or b) are clueless. Well, I’m back to my SOS call (ha ha). I’m refocusing and trying to back off again.

Sorry if this was cryptic but… it has to be!

A week from now, I’m going to be finally performing those two dances for passover. I’m kind of nervous, and not because I’m afraid of messing up the dance or anything, but because we haven’t completely finished choreography for Redeemer, and Jessica won’t be there on Friday to help us finish. We’ll have to finish without her. I don’t know how we’re going to do it.

I’ve been graphically exhausted recently… no inspiration for anything. Thankfully, there will be a giving thread on my favorite forum, and so it will force me into making things. This is a good thing. Especially how I’m helping Jessyca get her site redesigned, and I must say, I like the design. Shh, she can’t see it yet!

Other than that, same old, same old.

I’ve thrown away
so many things that could’ve been much more
and I just pray
my problems go away if they’re ignored
but that’s not the way it works
no that’s not the way it works

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I’ve lost all my value
I can’t find it, not in the least bit
and I’m just scared, so scared that I’ll fail you

And sometimes I think that I’m not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I’m even here at all
But then you assure me

I’m a little more than useless
And when I think that I can’t do this
You promise me that I’ll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can’t, do something significant
I’ll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I’m not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I’m even here at all
But then you assure me

I’m a little more than useless
And when I think that I can’t do this
You promise me that I’ll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world’s doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it’s my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

I’m a little more than useless
When I think that I can’t do this
You promise me that I’ll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

- Relient K